Am I a Jew? (controversy)
If you asked me the question, I’d say…
“Yes, yes, I think so.”
My claims are…
- 1. A grandfather born in Russia, Jewish, and
2. A FEELING I have had all my life.
I’m from New York, I move my hands a lot, I get excited and my voice gets high.
I often remind people of Ben Stiller.
I admit, there are moments when I feel an INSUPERABLE difference between myself and legitimate Jews.
But, still, (and I can’t explain it at all — except through the below speculation), still, I WANT something in me to be acknowledged as Jewish by other people.
Judaism is, by most descriptions, a Religion.
It is an aspect of culture, passed via experience (nurture) and not by blood (nature).
But, is a Jew, REALLY like a Christian (for example)?
Another complicating consideration is that I was born and raised into a “Catholic” family. My dad’s dad died when my dad was still young, and any PRACTICAL Judaism present in the lives of my father and his seven siblings died with him.
My dad (who lived in Colombia until he was 19), was, essentially, absorbed into the Catholic Colombian mainstream — and so married a “Catholic” girl in New York.
They had me, I was baptized, and even went to Our Lady of Sorrows Catholic School in Corona, Queens.
But, when I got to high school, and met my first Jews, something sprang to life in me. I felt really understood, and the behaviors that I saw in my new Jewish friends reflected something I felt in myself.
To this day, I would say that my very BEST friend (with the exception of my wonderful wife) was a Jewish kid named Gil Fisherman I met in the 10th grade.
Gil lost his mind in his late 20’s, and we lost touch.
But, after high school, and for the rest of my life since, I have moved in the world among people, in school, at work, in public, FEELING and BELIEVING a TRUTH of Judaism inside myself.
And so, the question before you is…
Am I Jew?
But, before you answer…
Let’s run a hypothetical genetic experiment.
We begin with a population of *gentically homogeneous* individuals — by which I mean, every genotype element expressible as some observable phenotype element is present at its mean value across the population.
That is the beginning point.
The second given is a mutative tendency across the population of 10% — meaning that one in ten births (or, more precisely, one in ten fertilizations) results in a mutation that introduces a never-before-seen geno/pheno attribute into the population.
As with all mutations, those that occur in the experiment have the capacity to resonate favorably with environment, and become advantages.
The third given is the presence of a cultural influence (based in ritual, idelogy and transferred history), which, in addition to cultivating a separateness of lifestyle (for the pervasivness and importance of those rituals, the intensity of that ideology and the vibrancy of that history), also results in a very low rate of “marrying-outside”.
After, even a FEW generations — much less thousands of generations — wouldn’t there come into evidence some GENETICALLY-DETERMINED attributes, which, for having been segregated within a reproductive pool defined by external culture over a long period of time, become EXCLUSIVELY ASSOCIATED with that external culture — such that a person, like myself, who never went to Schul, or studied Hebrew or had a BarMitzvah, could be Jewish enough by BLOOD (whether or not his mom was Jewish) to both FEEL Jewish, and BE Jewish, on some essential level (nature) which the circumstances of his birth and life (nurture) could never suppress?
Thoughts?
September 24th, 2005 at 8:04 pm
Just by looking at you I thought you were Jewish.
My two sister’s parents are my father (Christian gentile) and a Jewish woman. She participates in Jewish rituals such as Bat Mitvah. The whole family went - from both sides of the family. From what I understand - the rituals are important to her but not the religion itself. She might even believe in Christ because of my father. I am not sure. Now, is she jewish? If someone were to ask me if she were jewish I would say “partly”.
Its not all well defined but does it have to be?
September 24th, 2005 at 8:07 pm
Jack, if it’s any consolation, I thought you were a Jew the day I met you in person in Santa Monica!
Personally, I’m Jewish, had a Bar Mitzvah, and participated in all the holidays growing up BUT always felt pressured to be there. I’ve never really felt a “draw” to Judaism. The moment dinner or whatever event was over - I just wanted to go and hang out with my friends.
My wife comes from a Catholic family but neither she nor I “practice” religion. There’s more of a spiritual essence to our family. Not in a wacky “new age” way though! LOL
Our children have been exposed to both Jewish and Catholic holidays, however, we havent overtly stressed the relegious overtones as much as we’ve celebrated the holidays and explained them in a pseudo historical manner so they have an idea of WHY the days(s) are signifigant.
Things may come to those who wait, but only things left by those who hustle
- Abraham Lincoln
September 24th, 2005 at 8:09 pm
I agree with this, Brad.
When religion is propagated via books, formalities and rituals, it is no different from any other IDEOLOGY — like Capitalism, Communism, Objectivism, etc.
Ideologies are on the list of things people use to separate themselves from other people, like Race, Nationality, etc.
And when people separate themselves into groups (which is ALL our history indicates we’ve EVER done) we hate, we dehumanize, we kill. At the bottom of it is FEAR OF DIFFERENCE.
This tendency is probably what makes me saddest about our species.
The potential HORROR of religion is that, for it’s claim to Divine (and, therefore ABSOLUTE) validation, it sometimes let’s people do terrible, terrible things in the name of God — without any guilt or moral introspection.
Basically, the degree to which religion fosters a feeling of absolute entitlement and righteousness (overriding the basic humanity of others) is the degree to which religion is evil — history is also full of tragic examples of this.
September 24th, 2005 at 8:11 pm
I am a practicing jew!! I can only say what My rabbi told my aunt(non jew) when she went to him for conversion classes.
Despite jewish law. True Belief comes from your soul. Follow it no matter where it takes you. My aunt has been a practicing jew now for 17 years. I would consider her more a jew then many that were blood born.
September 24th, 2005 at 8:13 pm
There is a lot of interesting posts here. I’m a bit in the same boat. My father is Jewish but my mother comes from a Catholic family. I grew up in a 95% Italian neighborhood where there were NO jews. I didn’t really met my first jewish friend untill college. I’ve struggled with what I am all my life. I celebrate all holidays and I go to both church and temple. I can honestly say I don’t think I am either when it comes to the beliefs behind the religions. But I would say I am both when it comes to family and traditions.
To be honest, I think religion is something that has hurt man kind more than it has helped. There are so many people that have died because of it. It causes seperation, hate, and war.
The biggest reason I like the Jewish family is because of the family. They put family ahead of everything and I like that. I have a huge warm hearted family that will always be there for me. My uncle who is Catholic, treated my brother and I as well as my mom differently because my father was a jew. We have no relationsip now and that is a shame, all because of a religion.
All in all …. I am a true believer in one thing. Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you. If you live your life like that, you can’t go wrong. It does not interest me what happened 1000, 2000, or 3000 years ago. Stories get changed as time goes on, and I find it hard to believe that religious stories haven’t been altered over time. Who knows what the truth really is. What is important is NOW and the FUTURE and making our world a good place to live in for our children and grandchildren. Stop spending time reflecting on history and arguing about it and spend that time making our planet a better place. If you do that, you will move on to bigger and better things.
September 24th, 2005 at 8:15 pm
Originally Posted by 2HousePlague
Yes, I do.
I must confess, It has caused me great reflection on the question: “Where does Judaism live?”
Is it on the tip of the penis?
Is it in the heart?
Is it in the Soul?
Is it in the Blood?
I guess that’s what I’m trying to find out.
j-
September 24th, 2005 at 8:17 pm
I don’t think so.
And I’m not thinking of "changing" anything in myself in response to my affinity for any group.
This is about having RECOGNIZED myself in Jews.
My thoughts about Judaism go deeper than just "getting along" and "feeling at home".
There are things in me that I could never account for when I was a kid. I NEVER fit in, there seemed to be no cause-and-effect relationship between what I was and the people and circumstances that had made me.
I don’t know how "Jewish" my dad feels. I’ve never asked him. But, I’m going to speculate that, for being an immigrant to the US and a very ambitious self-made man, he probably never had the time or luxury to wonder about ORIGINS.
I’ve been blessed with the opportunity to step back from the pressing urgencies of survival, enough to wonder. I’ve been wondering for a long time.
The only way I COULD BE Jewish (in any degree) is if some amount of GENETIC JUDAISM (which carried with it both the behavioral earmarks of a Jew and a discernment/affinity for the Jewishness of others) is present in me, by way of my Jewish grandfather.
The basic question I’m articulating here is: IS THAT POSSIBLE?
September 24th, 2005 at 8:18 pm
Basically, your question is — Is Culture intrinsic or is it acquired or is it ASCRIBED? Regardless of whether it is intrinsic or acquired (differing social situations/societies place differing weight on these), culture is always ASCRIBED. ie., if other people see you as being of a particular culture, you ARE of that particular culture. This is an OBJECTIVE standard that is the basis of antidiscrimination jurisprudence in the USA. There has to be an OBJECTIVE element.
Cultural identities change over time, language can vary, physical markers may change as well, but the process of ascription remains the same.
September 24th, 2005 at 11:21 pm
Is that possible? I say yes. Well, in reformed jewish faith we do not believe in heaven. We believe when you die your soul lives through the people you leave behind. We name after the dead for that reason. Were you by any chance named after your grandfather? So if you can beleive that a part of them ends up in the hearts and minds of those they left behind then why not.
Jews by ansectry are pre disposed to certain diseases like Tay-Sachs which is genetic so why can you not be genetically predisposed to the culture
September 24th, 2005 at 11:22 pm
2HousePlague,
Thats so funny you say that. I was raised in a christian family but just found out a year ago that my grandfather whom I have never met is Jewish. My family and I have a lot in common with Jewish people especially when it comes to business. I however do not consider myself Jewish, I wish i was but I am not. Its my opinion that being Jewish either requires you to be rasied as a jew or to strictly follow their ways and If you dont you are not a true Jew.
I have so much respect for Jewish people. I find their business knowledge very interesting. Did you know 80% of the U.S money is controlled my Jewish people but yet they only make up for 2% of the population? They own every major media outlet in the world, control all the diamonds in the world, they control many banks, fortune 500 companies, etc…
Im not sure how they do it but if you want to read more about how powerful the Jews are check out The Jewish Phenomenon - By Silbiger, Steven
September 24th, 2005 at 11:23 pm
Religion often drives human beings apart and starts wars.
Don’t let your view of yourself be limited by your ancestry.
You should determine your own religion. Shape your own life.
September 24th, 2005 at 11:24 pm
Jews live very interesting lives.
October 20th, 2005 at 7:12 am
hi. this is a late post. but i came across your site on google (i typed in i went to schul).
i don’t think it’s wrong to feel the way you feel. for the most part, my background is catholic. however, there is some evidence that seems to show a connection between my family and our ancestors who were from portugal were actually jewish. however, many of them were either tortued, executed, or else converted.
but the irony is, i am studying judaism, and i finding that so many of the ideas that my parents have taught ring true with a lot of the jewish beliefs. we rarely attended church so much of what i know comes from what my parents have taught me about god, etc. it’s been up until recently that i understand more about christianity (a lot of it bothers me i have to admit) and that i find my beliefs in constant conflict.
so you see, i was baptised a catholic. but i was not really raised christian except that we did celebrate christmas. my mother seemed to put more emphasis on jesus as a savior than my father (from where our jewish-acestoral-connection exists).
in a lot of ways, i feel close to the jewish beliefs and culture but i myself am not a jew (but i have been mistakened for one before!)
you know, you can actually do a genetic test to see if you have an traces in your genes that link you to the jewish people. i imagine it is costly.
December 15th, 2005 at 5:10 pm
Jack rocks. Period.
August 11th, 2006 at 10:14 pm
[…] Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about the ways in which “opposing” Things are held in balance, as in the question of “”Religion vs. Science””, and also about the ways the lines between “separate” Things can sometimes get blurry, or even erased, as in “The Essence of Judaism: Spirit or Blood”. […]
May 5th, 2007 at 7:42 pm
I think it is important to think of the Jews as a PEOPLE. Are Jews merely the adherents to an ancient belief system? No. There are Jews who’s only attachment to a Jewish identity is that they ate Bagels and Lox once with their Bubbe-they have never been to Shul, said a Bracha or kept kosher. Are the Jews exclusively a race or ethnic group? No. There are Jews of every race and nationality. There are Indian Jews, Chinese Jews, Irish Jews, gentile-born Jews. According to the Sages, one is a Jew if they are born to a Jewish mother or if they converted to Judaism. Therefore, Jews can only be defined as a PEOPLE. What does this mean? It means that there is a simple and not so simple answer to the question “Am I A Jew?” But, the most significant part of the answer is figuring out why you are asking the question to begin with. What is your purpose in knowing? Do you want to participate in the religious community of the Jews? Do you want to be validated by having an identity that sets you apart from the rest of the white majority? Or do you want to know why you seem to be almost genetically drawn to Bagels and Lox? There is more than one entry way into Jewish Peoplehood. Your level of participation in that Peoplehood is the starting point to finding the answer to your question, “Am I a Jew?”